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| The Way There |
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We had decided to wait until morning to head into the Taco Bell land ahead. There was always the possibility the town was gone now, but Taco Bell towns rarely went down easy. We'd camped out underneath the sign, not even bothering with a fire, just rolling out the sleeping bags and crashing. When I woke up I wanted to scream from the soreness in my legs. I walked in a few slow circles, lifting my legs up, holding them back, trying to stretch them and get the damned aches out. Jesse woke up suddenly while I was doing my laps, sitting bolt upright in his sleeping bag. "Ready?" he asked. I laughed. "Whatcha have a nightmare or something man?" He shook his head quickly as he pulled himself out of his bag. "I don't remember. All I remember is that I had my car again." "Who knows. Maybe we'll be able to go back and get it." "I'm not holding my breath." Jesse announced as he stretched and set about to folding his sleeping bag. I set about doing the same, as always struggling not to let the sleeping bag slide out of the ball I had made of it so it would fit in the bag. When I finally managed to shove it into its bag I reattached it to my backpack. I took Cooper's cage out of the pack and let her run into my hand so I could get her out of the cage. Putting her down in the dirt, I let her run around a bit, making a makeshift wall out of some branches that were laying around. I stuck her little tube in the middle so that she had a familiar home base to return to, which she did frequently. "So what do you think this town is gonna be like?" I asked Jesse while I watched Cooper explore. "Who knows." Jesse answered as he set about fixing his own back. "I've been in two. One wasn't too bad, but I think that's because half the town was dead." "And the other?" Jesse pause long enough to take my attention from Cooper and look over my should where Jesse was shaking his head. "It was bad man. I only even went in because I was being paid to deliver something. Just driving to some little fringe house I was shot at, at least three times." Looking back down to Cooper I noticed she was getting bold enough to try and climb over the stick wall. "Time to go back." I said and scooped her up, lowering her into the cage. As I secured her cage in my back she wandered about, sticking her nose up at the little vent holes on top of the cage. I slung the backpack onto my pack, once again wincing at the aching in my muscles. Jesse tossed me the flaregun, which I caught awkwardly. "Keep this in close reach man. We may need it if things get hairy." "What do you have?" I asked, not wanting to be the one that all counted on if it hit the fan there. Jesse smiled. "I've got some of my own tricks. Don't worry.", he threw on his own pack, "Ready?" "Yup." I answered, harnessing the gun onto my belt so that it was easy reach. We began the five mile trek towards Taco Bell town. I was looking forward to finally being in some kind of civilization again, no matter how collapsed it may be. But then again I had never been in one so didn't really know what to expect. I maybe should have read a bit more out of the tenseness on Jesse's face. I guess I could understand what he was thinking. From what he had described things had been bad, really bad. But at least then he had his car. Now, we were heading in on foot with not much in the way of firepower. Regardless, I was still pretty curious. "Assuming that sign is right, we should be getting around 10." Jesse announced. "That good?" Jesse shrugged. "Depends. Pretty much around the time that most of the town should be waking up. If last night's party was especially good, they should all be hung over and too tired to really fight so things will be cool." "Otherwise?" Jesse frowned. "Otherwise, they'll wake up partying again, and will probably just getting to full tilt by the time we get there." I shrugged. "You know, we really just don't have much of a choice about this man. It's Taco Bell. We can stock up on enough food for a week and still have plenty of money." "I know." He let up his arms in mock surrender, "Just wish we were more prepared." I nodded. "Me too. Me too." I think I need to give you a little background on Taco Bell before we actually get into the city. You see, Taco Bell has emerged from that little dive that "was great late" and always had the cheesy way of selling itself. The Taco Bell of this time is a whole different beast. Taco Bell has become a culture. Taco Bell somehow managed to defy most of the laws of your parents. You know how when you were a kid your parents would always say those ridiculous lines like 'When I was a kid you could get the for a nickel!'? And you'd always just nod your head patiently thinking all along how obvious the fact was that things do get more expensive. It's only natural. Those of us in the educated world generally refer to that as inflation. Well, Taco Bell blows that theory to all hell. I can remember when a Taco Bell meal with drink would run around $3. Mind you, this was an excellent and unparalleled bargain at the time. That $3 would get you three stuff tacos, a soda, some nachos and maybe even those cinnamon buns if they were on sale. A damned good deal, but nothing compared to the prices they currently offered where for $3 you could feed an entire army. You see, Taco Bell was a beautiful example of how Darwinism works even within the business world. If a company is willing to adapt to the changing times they will thrive. Even if the changes are riots and general chaos, there is always money to be made. Taco Bell did just this. Taco Bell was no longer a fast food restaurant per se, at least that was not where their money came from. The real money was raked in from the wide array of side projects they had available. The food became just a way to get the people in the doors. Take for example the Taco Bomb combo special for $2.50 which includes 3 taco grenades, curly fries, a large soda and a bomb (chemical weaponry is a buck extra). Perfect for the closet anarchist who would rather not spend the time building the weaponry and figured he could use a snack on the way to the terrorist act. Or there's always the Taco Bell stomach pump, the only $5 special available on the mass market. What had once been an insurance requirement was now a lucrative business venture. And why not? If your clients don't have an aneurysm from the food they probably will off the cheap beer and drugs they are injecting by the bucketful in the back corner, all of which is of course supplied by the Bell. In the towns that Taco Bells thrived, they generally became the center of it all. Sort of like a modern day town hall. This was easy to explain. It by far had the cheapest beer, drugs and food in town. It was only natural for the citizens to congregate there. I think it goes without saying that these are no typical town hall meetings. Any prearranged meeting is usually the equivalent of a small scale war. Basically our best shot was to find it in some kind of spontaneous, not too well organized gang war that only involved firearms and no heavy artillery. If that was it I figured we had a pretty good shot of getting our food and getting the hell out alive. Otherwise, well otherwise we're pretty screwed. After nearly forty minutes of silent walking we could see the outline of a town at the end of the road. I still found it weird that we hadn't seen any other signs of life along the road, even this close, but Jesse explained that it was pretty typical. Either everyone was dead or nobody left at all. "Get the flaregun ready." Jesse said as we continued to walk. "Isn't that going to make someone think we're like hostile or something if we walk in with me holding this out?" I asked. "That's the point." "Oh." I removed the gun from my belt and held it in my hand. Jesse was busy adjusting his watch. "Aren't you gonna get anything?" I asked. Jesse grinned. "Already do." I shrugged as we got within a few feet of the town limits. The town reeked. Like beer. "Looks like they're not all dead." Jesse announced pointing to the side of the gate. With one hand resting on one of the massive logs that held up the front gate, the other on a tree, some guy was busy puking his guts out. There was a loud painful retching noise followed by some splashing. "Ooohhh god.", the guy moaned pitifully. "I guess Taco Bell's still open." I laughed low. Jesse only smiled. "Come on, let's just get to it and get the hell out of here." The Taco Bell was amazingly easy to find. It was really the only structure within the town that I would place money could survive the slightest storm. Most of the other buildings looked like they were the prototypes for the first of the three little pigs homes. The fact that it was painted in fluorescent purple and pink stripes didn't hurt either. A small line had formed outside the steel reinforced doors so we got at the end of it. "Well, this is just great." I mumbled to Jesse. The guy ahead of us looked and smelled like he slept in someone else's vomit. For at least the last three days. In fact upon closer inspection it seemed more like he'd actually bathed in someone else's vomit and then decided to clothe himself in his own. Regardless, it was not the most pleasant of aromas. Corrected I was. As we got closer to the entrance, it became clear that this guy's aroma could have been bottled and sold as women's perfume compared to the fumes emitting from within. My suspicions were confirmed when the dude ahead of us actually held his puke stained leather coat to his nose to block the Bell's atmosphere. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. "God, I'm an asshole." I thought to myself. "Why did I even leave my house?" A loud alarm bell went off suddenly as the guy ahead of us went through the metal detector in the doorway. An extremely large guard, who looked like he was ready to burst out of his brown uniform, stood up menacingly from his stool and ordered the guy to declare everything. The guy snarled at the guard but complied quickly. Three handguns, a grenade, one sawed off shotgun (also puked covered), six shotgun shells, what looked like a land mine, and at least a dozen sets of knives clinked into the large bowl the guard was holding out. The guard picked up the land mine looking device and placed it into a side scanner. A quick whir and whine later and the scanner spit out a read out which the guard promptly read. "No chemical weaponry." The guard announced, pointing to the sign above the metal detector. Sure enough that was the second rule. The guy mumbled a quick apology and regathered his stuff, minus the land mine which the guard had tossed behind the counter. Awkwardly trying to shove everything back in its proper place the guy walked in, ignoring the stare of the guard. The guard looked back at me as I went through the metal detector. No alarm this time. "What's that?", the guard asked motioning to the flaregun I'd forgotten was still in my hand. "Ah. Um. It's, ah," I stuttered, "It's a, a flaregun." The guard motioned me in with a booming laugh. "Good luck man." He chuckled while shaking his head. I proceeded cautiously in, my face hot with embarrassment at his public dismissal of my weaponry. The sounds of some old Metallica was cranking in the back of the restaurant. Even though I could tell it was on high volume, it was hard to make out of the loud murmur of the crowd here. People were screaming, shouting, cursing, fighting, puking, laughing, and groaning from all directions and all at really high decibels. It didn't take much to figure out why. The place was packed. The whole rule about spacing of the tables and furniture was apparently lost on the architect of this place. Four rows of stained white tables stretched from wall to wall across the back of the room. To get to the back three rows you needed to climb over the other tables which people were doing at a constant basis. From the looks of it, these tables belonged to the regulars, they all seemed to know each other and the fights seemed tamer. They were just trying to hurt each other or prove a point as opposed to killing each other for the hell of it. In front of those rows lay the standard tables for two or four people, jammed in as tightly as possible but still offering minimal some path around them. No wonder there were so many fights. It would be impossible to make your way to the back without ramming into at least two people. "Jesus!", I shouted instinctively as my reflexes took over sending me diving to the floor. "Sorry, mate.", an Australian accent apologized above me. I turned over, trying to wash the terror from my face as I watched what looked like a Mad Max extra, straddling over me, pulling a massive butcher knife from the wall beside me. With an impressive pivot and crouch (his knee conveniently crushed down into my stomach) he hurled the knife across the far side of the restaurant. Even though I couldn't see, the dull 'ugh' that I heard right before someone's chair fell over with them in it seemed to indicate that he'd found his mark. Smiling, he stood back up and offered a hand to me which I was terrified to refuse. He lifted me to my feet like I was some kind of doll. "No hard feelings, eh?" he asked with a grin. I shook my head emphatically, "No. None at all man." I motioned with my hands that all was cool, "You, you just do what you have to." His grin grew larger, and with a single shake of his head he patted me on the back heavily, "Thanks, mate." He winked and went back towards his table but not before turning back towards me, "And if you want anything bigger than that little pea shooter your holding, come and give me a talk." I nodded knowingly, trying my best not to piss off this monstrosity, "Will do." He gave me a thumbs up and sat back down, joining his two equally huge and menacing friends. I fled to the line to my left. "You alright?" asked Jesse from behind in a low whisper. I waved my hand backwards at him telling him not to worry. I could almost hear him shrug at me. My attention turned back to the counter and the menus behind it. It took me a second to realize why the words to the menus were a bit blurry. Well, really it took a second for someone to hurl a beer bottle at one of the cashiers, and that's how I realized that there was some kind of energy shield protecting them. The bottle stopped no more than two inches from the cashier's face, then exploded into a ball of flame. Smaller fireballs scattered across the shield as the smaller pieces of glass sprayed in all directions, most hitting against the shield again. Whoever was placing an order dropped to the floor with a howl, clutching his face. "Next." The cashier cried. He hadn't even flinched. That was me. Hesitantly I walked up and approached the shield. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure nothing was heading in my direction, I proceeded. "I'll take ten tacos, no lettuce or tomatoes on them." , I dislike them anyway but it is a rule not to eat anything that can spoil here. I suspect the meat is synthetic so that doesn't count. "One mega-large coke, two large nachos with cheese sauce, and 5 burritos, again with no lettuce and tomatoes." "That it?" "Ummm. One cinnamon ring." I added. "That's be $1.10." he said and turned to gather my food. I smiled. Food. Blessed food. And cheap so damned cheap. The cashier grabbed a fluorescent green tray and started stacking my food on there. All the burritos formed the base, then the tacos, then the nachos, and finally at the top of the food pyramid were my cinnamon rings. He turned back to me and placed my tray on the counter where it suddenly proceeded to sink into the counter. Something hit me in the knee and upon further examination I saw it was a smile hatch that had opened. My food and soda were sliding out of it. I bent over an grabbed it. Only to pull my hand away in intense pain. "Man!" I cried waving my hand furiously trying to work the electric shock out of it, "What the hell was that for?!" The cashier looked at me with this very bored, been there done that expression. "Place the money on the counter." He said with the same tone. At least he was consistent. I scowled at him, digging into my pocket with my good hand. I slammed the buck ten on the counter and watched it do a similar trick as the food. I waited until he bent over and took my money placing it into the register. Then he looked at me again but I still waited. I looked back at him, waiting. "You can take the food now." He said shaking his head. "Next!" Bending over to grab my food I noticed Jesse at the line beside me already with his food. He was smiling at me. "Shut up." I growled as we both left the line to try and find a table. "What?!" he asked laughing. "You know what." "Just smiling at the food man." He protested and I let it go. We were lucky. Some guy had just gotten really sick and pitched off his chair with a violent cry. His buddy panicked and grabbed him to take him to a back room leaving a table wide open for us. We slid into the seats, rummaging through the food they had left behind but only one burrito had been uneaten. And it had lettuce. No wonder they got sick. Jesse knocked it and the rest of the empty wrappers to the floor. I began setting my pyramid of food into a working order. Cinnamon rings to the side since they were last. Nachos on both sides so I can grab with both hands. Moving aside the tacos, trying to get to the burritos, I was already shoving some of the nachos into my mouth. The cheese sauce from the nachos dripped down my chin as I ripped open the plastic wrapper to my first burrito. With incredible dexterity I managed to wipe the cheese sauce off my chin while pushing in some more nachos. Low grunts of pleasure were coming from both of us. I don't think Taco Bell had ever tasted so good. The burrito was next, practically steamrolled into my mouth. About half of it disappeared into my mouth with one incredible bite. I chewed quickly, savoring the hot sauce laden, cheese covered, beef burrito. I could barely taste the beef with all the hot sauce but that was actually preferable. I swallowed hard and devoured the rest of it, already opening the second one. It was a slaughter to say the least. Three burritos, both nachos, and five tacos later I finally began to slow down. I was working on my fourth burrito, savoring the feeling of a near full stomach. A low slurping sound came from my Coke as I finished it off to wash down the burrito. I sucked a bit harder, moving the straw around the ice try to find the last of the Coke. "Mr. Raden? Mr. Hewett?" came a voice from behind Jesse. I looked up, still forcing the last of the Coke and melted ice into my mouth. A guy was pointing another gun at me. He was dressed completely in camo, had some stripes attached to his shoulder, more weapons attached to his belt and was smiling at me evilly. Definitely military. Jesse just kept eating slowly as the guy held the gun at me. The smile got bigger when I looked at him, "If you two would follow me, you are under arrest." "Fa' wha'" Jesse mumbled around a mouthful of taco. The sergeant chuckled lightly, "Now Mr. Hewett, if I was to run down that list we would be hear until tomorrow." "Fin' wit me." Said Jesse with a smile. He finally swallowed the last of his taco. "Because there's no way in hell we're going anywhere with you." He said swiveling in his chair to face him. The guy stepped back a step, now pointing his gun at Jesse. He was still smiling, "I think you are. Now get up and walk out of here slowly." Suddenly he shifted the gun at me, "And put your hands where I can see them." I frowned, and stopped trying to reach for flaregun at my side. Placing my hands on the table I began nervously fiddling with the hot sauce while Jesse leaned back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest. "You've got to be one of the dumbest guys I've ever met." Jesse said simply. The gun was back at Jesse. "I'm not the one at the end of a gun mister!" He shouted sharply. "Now get up and walk out of here!" Jesse laughed as I chimed in, "Dude, you're in a Taco Bell. You're the least armed here." The smile faded and he looked around quickly. The entire restaurant was grinning at him. A wide range of weaponry was pointed at him from all angles. I think half of these guys dream of days like this. Military meat in their land. He turned back at Jesse, his gun now very aggressively aimed at him. Jesse smiled. |
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